Recently, Petra Coach presented a webinar, The Coaching Habit: 7 Questions That Will Change the Way You Lead Forever with Marshall Martin.
You can find the full recording below.
- How would you best describe your leadership style?
- Do you consider yourself a leader or manager?
- How many of you know the leader or manager has been placed in the leadership role because they’ve been there a long time and need more pay or a higher position but may not even like people?
The Great Resignation
We don’t see people leaving great leaders. Where leaders challenge, appreciate and engage – people aren’t looking to go anywhere.
“Coaching is an art, and it’s far easier said than done. It takes courage to ask a question rather than offer up advice, provide an answer or unleash a solution.” -Brené Brown
About the Author & Book
- Michael Bungay Stanier
- Generated from the 15-year Harvard Review article by Daniel Goleman, “Leadership Gets Results” and recognized coaching as 1 or 6 essential leadership styles
- Heavy impact on performance, culture and bottom line
- However the coaching style is cited as least used style
Book Recommendation: Emotional Intelligence 2.0
“We’re a reflection of the coaching we’ve received over the years”
- Develop a habit of curiosity and slowing down
- Ask more questions
- Listen better
- Teach more
- Transferring ownership to others for growth
- Help others unlock their potential
Breaking Out of the 3 Vicious Circles
- Creating Over-Dependence on You
- People have become over-reliant on you
- You are a bottleneck
- Everyone loses momentum and motivation
- Don’t be the rock that the stream has to move around
- Getting Overwhelmed
- Leads to loss of focus
- White leads to more overwhelm
- If you’re not in the moment, they can feel that
- Becoming Disconnected
- Inability to focus on more meaningful and purposeful work
- Helping people do the work has more meaning
The 7 Essential Questions to Developing a Coaching Habit
- What’s on your mind?
- And what else?
- What’s the real challenge for you?
- What do you really want?
- How can I help?
- If yes to this, no to what?
- What was more useful for you?
The Kick-Start Question: What’s On Your Mind?
- Get tied up in small talk
- Change the agenda often
- Assume you know what they’re going to say
- Show trust and autonomy
- Talk about what matters most
- Use the 3P model:
The AWE Question: And What Else?
- Creates more wisdom, insights, self-awareness and possibilities
- More options lead to better decisions
- More options – less failure rate
- Tame the advice monster
- Resist the urge to give advice or the answer
- We will rush to give advice ever if wrong
- Hijacks the conversation
- And what else?
- Stay curious
- Ask it 3-5 times (asked too few times)
- Recognize success
- Move on at the right time
The Focus Question: What’s the Real Challenge for You?
- How to stop spending too much time on the wrong problem
- High performance cultures are quick at jumping to get a resolution, resulting in
- Working on the wrong problem
- You do the work the TEAM should be doing
- The work doesn’t get done
- Focus on the REAL problem, not the 1st
- Remember there is a place for advice
- Go back to previous question, “and what else?”
- Start with “what” not “why” questions
The Foundation Question: What Do You Want?
- We have to understand what each party really wants before we can proceed
- Creating a safe environment
- Brain is scanning 5x per second to evaluate safety
- If we create a safe space, the discussion is more productive
- TERA quotient
- Tribe – with me or against me
- Expectation – Do I know the future?
- Rank – Are you more or less important than me?
- Autonomy – Do I get a say or not?
- Drive TERA quotient higher
- Silence is a measure of success
The Lazy Question: How Can I Help?
“What Do You Want From Me?”
Lazy as a leader can be a good thing…
- Makes you more useful to those you lead
- You will work less hard
- Forces colleague to make a direct request
- Stops you from jumping into solving mode
- Add the question “out of curiosity”
- You are not asking so they can give you their work or problems
- A chance for them to arrive at their own answers
The Strategic Question: If you are saying yes to this, what are you saying no to?
Remember the 3 P’s
- Which to postpone?
- What meetings to stop attending?
- What resources do you need to say yes?
- What expectations do you need to manage?
- What relationships will you let go of?
- What habits need to be broken?
- What ambitions need updating?
- What beliefs do you need to let go?
This is the Stop is Start/Stop/Keep
The Learning Question: What Was Most Useful for You?
Transfer of knowledge and ownership
This is what it is all about:
- Assumed coaching lesson was useful
- Asks for the big thing that was most helpful
- Makes conversation personal
- It’s learning, not judgment
- Reminds people on your resourcefulness
- They don’t learn if you just tell them
- They learn when they recall and reflect on what just happened
Like what you see? Register for our upcoming workshops & webinars today!